Showing posts with label poems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poems. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Reminder

My Grandma Charlotte died almost a year ago now. I wrote this poem recently about how it takes the brain a while to catch up, at least the subconscious part that still wants to call her and tell her things, but how also...we don't always want it to catch up...








Reminder

I just absentmindedly drew
an angry clown smoking
a stogie. Read that
Rorschach inkblot.

You used to draw
a clown for me on paper placemats.
I remember some of the parts
looked like sausage links or balloons,
but I can’t remember the order.

I want chocolate milk with a bendy straw
and blueberry pancakes from Pappan’s Restaurant.
There’s a Wendy’s now where Pappan’s used to be.

I want to call and ask you if you think Stabler and Olivia
should hook up on Law and Order: SVU
and how do you spell Mariska’s last name?
It is hard to remember again and again
that you have died.

H-A-R-G-I-T-A-Y.
Hargitay sounds like hard to say.
What was that song you sang
to me that went paddy raddy bumsteay?
I’m trying to say I don’t want
even my memories
to die.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Senseless

Senseless

I have a hard time putting things into boxes.
When I move I have full garbage bags labeled DO NOT THROW AWAY.
I have as hard a time with mental boxes-->categories-->gestalts.
I can put dog in a small furry animal that barks box,
but what can I do with 16 yr old kills my 28 yr old Syrian student, Jamal?
28- Not old enough to have been his father, but at least a brother
an uncle a mentor a teacher if life made sense
If 57 choices were made that weren't
and 3 that were, weren't.
I hope he gets tried as an adult
because I'm trying to believe
children are too innocent to kill
or die.
God, it's true
I just realized
I have a stuffed camel called Jamal.
Clarence, my friend stationed in Iraq, sent me 3 yrs ago.
Now Clarence's son is in Iraq
training Iraqi soldiers
how not to get killed.
The son's name is Tony. He's 29.
The killer's name is Eric.
He is somebody's son,
probably somebody's brother,
maybe somebody's nephewunclecousin friend student
He's a child.
I have 2 stuffed camels, Jamal,
and one from Camel Rock Casino on Tesuque Pueblo,
where I met Clarence,
who taught me how to say I love you
in Tewa,
where I learned that I can understand
that I need to understand
what I don't understand
that I can't understand.
Is there a word for this plurality
in Tewa?
in English?
in Arabic?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Remembering Jamal Mouzaffar


Yesterday evening, I went for a walk to clear my head...or to look for a sign to make sense of all this. I saw flowers growing in weeds, I saw new leaves growing from a lightning charred tree. I tried to run, but couldn't run fast enough. I sat in the garden. I searched for some comparison, something that would give me a reason. I couldn't find any. I spent some time writing in my Nature journal that i had put away back in the beginning of June. I wanted to feel connected to the Earth.


Inshallah
God Willing
like we don't have
a choice
Because we really don't
It means
I want the best
for you and yours
but have no way to guarantee it
Inshallah
God willing
by and by
Vaya con Dios
We all have a way to say it
but how can we make sense
of your death?
We're not supposed to
but God willing
one day we'll see
clearly
face
to
face
Go with God, Jamal
We don't have a choice
in this life
when we come and go
but God willing
I will see you again habibi
dear one
friend


----
When I returned home, I found a passage in one of my books of poetry by Rumi that struck me as particularly relevant. I'm sharing it with you here:


On the day I die, when I'm being carried
toward the grave, don't weep. Don't say,

He's gone! He's gone. Death has nothing
to do with going away. The sun sets and

the moon sets, but they're not gone.
Death is a coming together. The tomb

looks like a prison, but it's really
release into union. The human seed goes

down in the ground like a bucket into
the well where Joseph is. It grows and

comes up full of some unimagined beauty.
Your mouth closes here and immediately

opens with a shout of joy there.


~mevlana jelaluddin rumi - 13th century

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Wedding Waltz

Wedding Waltz
Bride
White Dress
Groom
Black Tux
You Begin
The New
Start
Today
Tomorrow
And Tomorrows
This Comes First
And Last
End
The Old
Yesterdays
Today
Then
Always
One

----

My sister Risa Masamura was married to Scott Saunders on July 15th, 2007. To see more pictures of the big day, see http://www.risamasamura.com/wedding/download.html . To order a copy of the book of poems I wrote for the couple, go to http://www.lulu.com/content/686404